My guess that I lucked out by being queer in the digital age, because being able to watch porn dudes fuck each other on the Internet showed me that I wasn’t alone in my sexual orientation, and it helped me become comfortable with some of the acceptable standards of the gay community and lifestyle. Rather than learning the ropes from some older, more experienced guy, as I presume is what happens with most young twinks like me as they enter the world of gay sex, I was able to learn about ‘top’ and ‘bottom’ roles before I’d even had my first gay sexual encounter.
I think that watching these gay porn dudes go through different sexual positions, and especially watching them orally pleasure each other, made me a more confident and capable lover for when I was ready to get involved with my first sexual relationship. By the time I did actually do it with another guy, I’m sure he appreciated my virtual experience, as we were both actually going through our sexual initiation together, and my pointers and apparent knowledge of how it can all go together both impressed my partner, but also made it a less awkward experience for both of us (for example, I knew all about having plenty of lubrication on hand, and though we both agreed that using protection was a good idea in general, since we were both virgins, decided it would be okay for us to take the risk of going bare back- it’s like we had to worry about getting pregnant like straight couples do.
For this reason, gay porn dudes will always hold a special place in my heart, even if the influence of learning my sexuality through online porn has perhaps made me overly picky and erotic to the extreme when it comes to engaging in sexual activity, and I even have a tendancy to blurt out loud vocalizations as I picture my favorite gay adult entertainers doing on the scene of a sweaty porn set.
